What separates us?

What separates the good people from the bad? Are people born that way or do circumstances alter who we become as adults? Can we take the negatives we experience and turn them into positive outcomes or is the positivity that spews from some merely a mask? One way or another I believe we all wear masks. Some, out of insecurity . Insecurity that has grown inside like an in curable disease. From childhood traumas of not meeting parents expectations to adult failures at relationships, to career choices. What happens if I let my mask fall and others see just how vulnerable I am? How unsure and self hating I am? So instead of the possibility of that, they choose to wear the mask. Now most of the time those who are the insecure ones are actually decent human beings for the most part. The others. Well they choose to wear a mask for self preservation. Without the mask they would lose hold of their reality. The reality they choose to show the world , and the reality they live when no one is watching. Which this brings me to my next point. It’s been said that you are a product of your environment. For example, growing up you have a mother, and a father figure who are supportive and are sure to steer you in the right direction. 9 times out of 10 that pays off. The child grows up to be a productive member of society and then the cycle continues when they have children. Now, on the other hand we have a different child, who is brought up in a violent environment with abuse, parental neglect, and no one to instill proper values and life skills. Most often, that child will get into trouble. From school grades diminishing, to run-ins with the law. By the time they become an adult it’s almost like they are still that child who is lost without guidance. Struggling with hatred, self-worth, and anger.
The brain is wired to what’s “normal”to each individual person. Like the saying goes, what’s normal to the spider is chaos to the fly. One persons reality is another person’s nightmare. I strongly believe childhood abuse plays a great part in the adult life, as it’s been stated many serial killers suffered terrible childhood’s. Most people who have violent tendencies are loaners. They usually Suffer from antisocial behavior. So with that said, this particular person peeked my interest.
Richard kuklinski. He was married with children. All the people who knew him in the neighborhood said he was the dream husband and father. But like I said earlier about wearing a mask for self-preservation, he was one of them. He met his wife when she was only 18, and him being much older I believe he used his manipulative skills to lure her in. Even when she began to express her want and need to be able to be more free and not so controlled, he used physical means to scare her into not leaving. In my opinion, narcissistic men target younger women who are the complete opposite of themselves because that’s how they establish control and dominance. She was sweet and outgoing, and unfortunately for her, her kindness was her weakness when it came to him. He became obsessive and fixated on her, and that lasted until the end. Richard was raised with an alcoholic/abusive father so his childhood was far from ideal. However Richard’s daughters claim he was a wonderful dad. That they nor their mother never wanted for anything. Financially and emotionally he provided what a good father would.
But as they got older they begin to wonder exactly what their dad did for work. However, they never asked. He was later described as one of the most “proficient and prolific” killers in the history of crime. He was a hitman for the seven families of the East Coast mafia. But he was also labeled not only as a hitman, but also as a serial killer. Due to the fact he also killed others, whom he chose to kill for enjoyment and not business related purposes. I think he interest’s me so much because he led the perfect life. No one ever suspected anything from him, and when it came to him being heartless and disregarding other peoples lives, he also had another side to him. The side where he had so much love for his family. Admiration. Kind of like he was two different people in one body. It makes me wonder if everyone has a completely different side to them just waiting to come out. I know sometimes I feel that way about myself. Most of the time I am sweet and thoughtful, while other times I feel angry and resentful. If he was never caught would he have continued to live his life? The life of the perfect husband, father, neighbor? How much do we really know someone if you can live with a monster and never expect them to do the things they do? Smart. Did I mention he was intelligent? The cops called him the iceman. He would freeze his victims to confuse the forensic expert’s. Now I’m no forensic expert, but I know freezing temperatures slow down decomp, hence,throwing off time of death. And that’s pretty smart if I do say so myself. He lived this double life for 20 years undetected before he was finally caught. They charged him with five murders, but since he knew he was never going to get out of prison he later confessed to killing around 250 people. Even in the end, he only showed empathy about the pain he caused his family. He loved his daughters and wife. However I try to look at things from the wife’s point of view. How had she gotten through all those years? He was a wonderful loving husband at times, but there was also abuse and fear that kept her there. 
She said the last time she saw him, he told her you know, you’re such a good person. Always been such a good person. And somehow I feel sorry for him. Crazy I know. I feel sorry for him because she hated him. The only woman who he loved, couldn’t stand him. I wonder if he knew? She later said she wished she would’ve told him she hated him before he died. So I will ask the same question again. What separates us? I guess that there will never be a straightforward answer on why some people choose to feed the bad voices they have in their head, while others choose to ignore it.