What depression & anxiety REALLY look like

Plans that you cancelled at the last minute even though you KNOW you should go. Overwhelming worry that consumes you all at once for no apparent rhyme or reason. “Am i good enough”? “I know I forgot something, what was it”? Yes, self doubt. The feeling that always comes back, like it’s engraved in your head. “Get up, get up”, you can’t spend all day in bed! Sleep. All you want to do  is SLEEP. People close to you usually respond in one of two ways. The first is they don’t understand you so they make comments like “oh your fine” “Stop making nothing into something” or “You are in charge of the way you feel”. The second way usually may be “You are crazy”! “Get on medication” There is either total minimalizing of you’re feelings, or total maximizing of it. Standing in the supermarket isle, trying to decide between broccoli or carrots to make with tonight’s dinner , with a clenching overwhelming feeling,  making it so hard to pick even over such a small, unimportant thing like a side for dinner. Having a nice conversation with a stranger while out and from one minute to the next you go from talkative and happy, to speechless and uneasy. The feeling of not being grounded, or belonging, or.   being….accepted.